Why Can't We Be Friends?

“Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.” —C.S. Lewis.

Religion is a beautiful thing. Humanity, in general, finds solace in the belief that there is something out there bigger than we are, bigger than our menial existence, drudging in the mundane, overplayed routine we grow accustomed to calling our life. There are some “intellectuals” that earnestly believe there isn’t a higher power out in the cosmos. That is fine; even still they find something to believe in, some sort of philosophy they put their stock in, something that gives their life purpose.

I believe in God. This isn’t about believing in God as opposed to Allah; it isn’t about the Koran versus the Bible. It is about, in my opinion, how “denominations” get in the way of our religion. If you do not agree with my opinion, kudos to you for having your on beliefs.

I work the late shift. Most nights after about eight o’clock, things really start to slow down. The section I work in is blocked off, away from most of the other employees, so there are only two or three people and me there late at night. I often find myself in a state of comatose-like haze staring at the computer screen. The clock mercifully tics away slowly, counting down to sweet freedom. During this time of night, my fellow coworkers and I strike up random conversations to stay awake and pass the time. Last week the conversion of church came up. It was all inclusive, the conversation branching off to things such as different world religions and different denominations of the Christian church. From the beginning I stayed out of the conversation. I was really curious to hear what my two fellow coworkers’ views were on the subject since one is a practicing Jewish man and the other a Christian.

I was put off by what I heard.

The Jewish man, in a somewhat playful banter, asked the Christian why Christians always try to “convert” him. The Christian rebutted with “because you need it,” a comment that was in a jovial tone, as well. However, it didn’t take long for the conversation to turn dark. They began bashing various denominations. “Baptists,” they said, “I can’t believe how people stay awake in their services; they are so boring.” They went on an on in this fashion. “Catholics,” one exclaimed, “they don’t really believe in anything; they just drink wine in mass and say Hail Mary’s.” The other one provided his agreement saying, “Yeah, but they have beautiful churches.” They named off a few more denominations, and then they came to Pentecostals. They were both unscrupulous with their attack on “brain washed Pentecostals.” One stated, “All that speaking in tongues is fake. It is just simple-minded people giving into emotionalism.” The other chimed in saying, “They are some mean, holier-than-thou people. If you don’t believe what they believe, they love to condemn you straight to Hell.” This went back and forth, both of them fueling the other with their jaded remarks, pessimistically bashing other denominations’ creeds.

I was heartbroken. Dolefully, I sat there in silence, processing what I had heard.

Since then I’ve come to the belief that denominations are one of the most, if not the most, counterproductive parts of Christianity. They are known more for what they disagree on than what they have in common: Jesus. I can see why a non-believer can be so skeptical of this modern day church culture. Who wants to be apart of a religion where the believers aren’t even on the same team? I’d dare to say that deep down, tucked away in a dark place of some people’s soul, they would rather see someone who doesn’t share their beliefs die and go to Hell to fulfill their own self-validation. That “ah hah” moment when you can look down your nose at someone and say “See? I was right all along.” I can’t help but think that that wasn’t what the apostles had in mind; it seems to me that they had it right when they described the church as “in one mind and one accord.” Somehow I don’t believe the whole mindset of drawing lines in the sand and saying that if you believe this then you are Baptist and if you believe this you’re Methodist is what Jesus had in mind for us, either, when he said, “For God so loved the world…”

I wonder sometimes if we have taken some of God’s love from our message and substituted our own standards and rules in its place. I’ve been asking myself if we spend more time drawing lines and not enough time loving people and loving God. Isn’t that what this is all about, loving God and each other?

People go to this church because they can slow dance with their girlfriend at prom without having to answer to some elder pointing their finger and condemning them to Hell. Some people go to another church because they like the music or the lights. What if people didn’t decide on churches and denominations on the principle of what they are or aren’t allowed to do but because they truly feel a love from God and his people? That is the movement I want to be a part of.

I was skimming through different social networking sites yesterday and came across a friend’s Facebook. Under the “info” section is a spot to tell all 3,542½ of you dearest and closest friends what your religious views are. It even has a nifty preset that auto-populates denominations for your convenience. This person had bypassed the pre-chosen list of denominations and typed in his own that reads, “Can’t we all just get along?” I loved it!

Why don’t we erase some of these lines and replace them with an open mind and love for one another? God’s message would be so much clearer if we would eradicate the mindset that our church is better than your church and realize that we are all in this together.

“I began to doubt the infallibility of this religion and to examine it. My first cause of doubt was that I began to notice that the priests of this religion were not all in accord among themselves. Some said: We are the best and most useful teachers; we teach what is needed, but the others teach wrongly. Others said: No! We are the real teachers, and you teach wrongly. And they disputed, quarreled, abused, cheated, and tricked one another. There were also many among us who did not care who was right and who was wrong, but were simply bent on attaining their covetous aims by means of this activity of ours. All this obliged me to doubt the validity of our creed.” —Tolstoy, A Confession

The play list this was written to consisted of "No One's Gonna Love You" by Band of Horses, "re: Stacks" by Bon Iver, "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley, "Big Casino" by Jimmy Eat World, "Cure for Pain" by Jon Foreman, and "Unthought Known" by Pearl Jam.

"All is vanity": Selling Your Soul for a Lexus

“The tragedy is that society (your school, your boss, your government, your family) keeps drumming the genius part out. The problem is that our culture has engaged in a Faustian bargain, in which we trade our genius and artistry for apparent stability.” – Seth Godin

Nichole and I agree that our favorite movie is Into the Wild. It is a story about a twenty-three year old college graduate named Christopher McCandless. Christopher comes from a wealthy family who is driven by money, belongings, and community status. This isn’t the life he wants for himself. After graduating college, he gives his life’s savings away to charity and strikes out on what he calls his “great adventure.” He spends two years traveling the country, backpacking his way to his final destination, Alaska. I was turned on to Henry David Thoreau when Christopher cited a line from one of his books during a scene in the movie: “Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” I was taken aback by the simplicity of the statement.

Later we picked up the book Walden, which is considered Thoreau’s best work. We both recently started reading it and are really enjoying it. He may be the single most quotable author I’ve read to date. From what I can gather so far from the book, it is about living a simpler life. The book is an autobiographical account of the two years he spent in a log cabin he built with his own hands outside of a town in New England in the woods overlooking Walden Pond. Also, I have recently stumbled across a few blogs that specifically speak about minimalism. Over the last few weeks, my eyes have been opened to a whole new way of thinking.

To be completely candid with you, some months go by when we have only a few dollars left after paying our bills. We get depressed and ask ourselves why God would let us stay in such a financial struggle. How selfish are we? The truth is, the only reason we are short on money is because we, like most people, have fallen into the trap of our commercialized society, a society that promotes you to live well above your means. We are told we won’t be happy unless our car is as nice as the neighbor’s or if our house isn’t over so many square feet. We buy and buy, and for what? Vanity. Nichole and I feel like we are scraping the bottom of the barrel financially, but it is because we have nice things. We bought into the idea that we have to have this or that to be happy to the point that we have accrued so much debt that we are merely slaves to our possessions.

In his book Guerrilla Lovers, author Vince Antonucci has a chapter called Anti-Terror Resources. In this chapter he gives cold, hard truths about the excess we as Americans live in. He begins by reminding us of the story in the Bible about the person described as “a rich man.” He seems to be a well-to-do farmer whose only problem is that his barns aren’t big enough to hold the excess crops he has harvested. He tears down his old barns to build even bigger ones that will hold the excess he is reaping from his field. The day he finishes the new supersized barn, he dies. Then we read Jesus calling this man a fool. The author goes on to point out that the man was rich. But if you were to ask the man if he was rich, he would tell you no. There would have been others he could have named that had more than he did. But the fact is that he had an excess; this makes him rich. The same logic applies to us: If you were to ask me a month ago if I was rich, I would have told you that you were a lunatic for even bringing up such an absurd question. But the truth is I live in excess. Compared to the world, I am rich.

The chapter goes on to state that 1.2 billion people do not have access to clean water. One billion people live in extreme poverty. Eighty percent of the world lives in substandard housing. Seventy percent of the world is illiterate. Only one percent of the world has a college education, and only eight percent of the world has a vehicle. The statics are humbling. We are so self-centered, worrying about buying the next big thing, or even worse, paying off the debt from buying the next big thing, that these injustices are given a blind eye.

Nichole and I have decided that we are tired of living above our means. We’re tired of listening to the lie that your possessions make you happy. God made a great, big world: oceans, rivers, mountains, and deserts; but we are more interested in what is on television tonight. How many sunsets have we missed because we were on the couch watching some mindless sitcom? I think we are going to turn our cable off. We are going to try to simplify our lives and try to live below our means so that we can help others. We are going to try to start fasting a meal a week together. The money we save from fasting the meal, we are going to give to a charity. It is time we start living for others. It’s time I start living for others.

If you have any creative ideas on how to give back to the less fortunate, I’d love to hear your feedback.

“He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity.” (Eccles. 5:10)

Don't Complain. Change.

"However mean your life is, meet it and live it: do not shun it and call it hard names." -Thoreau

I tend to see life through the eyes of a cynic. We are, as a whole, a cynical generation. I remember getting bikes throughout my childhood. I was a Huffy man. I remember looking at my new bikes with my slanted Asian eyes, eyes that to this day that raise questions of my nationality, and I knew that before long this bike would look just like the old one I had, the one that in just a few days would be put out to pasture along with random washer and dryer combos and an old 1972 Chevy, the same Chevy that just the summer before I had used as target practice with my BB gun, sharpening my ever evolving sniper skills. It was like I couldn’t enjoy it. I knew that eventually the elements would get to it. The chrome would lose its shine and become rusted. The chain would begin to slip. You get the idea.

We grow up conditioned to the idea that something negative is around the corner. We call it being a “realist.” We all, from time to time, find ourselves as George from the sitcom Seinfeld, always looking at the negative things that exist within the positive things happening in our lives, scheming and worrying ourselves to death or in some cases, as in the case of George Costanza, bald.

I’m not saying that bad things aren’t out there because they are. Over the past few months, I have had three jobs opportunities fall through, one of which I have been paying my dues volunteering for almost five years. My wife was told her job was in jeopardy due to state budget cuts yet again. Our home was robbed. The list goes on and on. Life has no qualms with kicking you while you are down. It isn’t hard to find something to complain about, but that isn’t how I want to live.

It is easy to say that everything happens for a reason as long as what is happening is a good thing. We find it much harder to apply the same reason of thinking when your house is robbed or when Nick Jonas doesn’t respond to your @ reply.

I believe that people who complain all the time have stunted their character growth. I’m not talking about the occasional rant; I’m talking about the person who would rather gripe about their problems than get off their butt and do something about them. If you can’t afford your house, then sell it. If you are tired of not being able to bend over and tie your shoes without getting lightheaded, then get off the couch, put down the Oreos, and get active. If you are in a dead-end job, quit and find another one. If you get turned down at the first interview, line up another one. If your friends are dragging you down, drop them. If your dog has gas, stop feeding it so much cheese and left over Hormel chili.

It is easy just to let life happen to you and grow old and cynical. Taking action, on the other hand, is much harder. I’m going to take a step back and look at my life. I am going to assess the things I don’t like about myself, and I’m going to do my best to change. Furthermore, I am going to be proactive about changing situations that drag me down. Hopefully, if you’re reading this, you will do it with me.

"Do not be critics, you people, I beg you. I was a critic and I wish I could take it all back because it came from a smelly and ignorant place in me, and spoke with a voice that was all rage and envy. Do not dismiss a book until you have written one, and do not dismiss a movie until you have made one, and do not dismiss a person until you have met them."-- David Eggers

The play list this was written to consisted of “Dismantle. Repair” by Anberlin, “Something Good Comes This Way” by Jakob Dylan, “Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want” by The Smiths, “re: Stacks” by Bon Iver, and “Float On” by Modest Mouse.